Another letting go, and letting God

Now it is the time in my life when my older children are looking for their wings. They are searching for what God has for their lives. Hannah, our 17 year old has been really seeking God to find out what He wants for her life. He has so graciously answered her prayer and she is going to spend 10 months in Puerto Rico teaching a missionaries child and helping out at the mission.

Hannah visited the mission last January and the mission board just happened to be there during that time. The mission board recently asked her to come and teach. The clincher was they thought she was much older. Hannah has always (from the time she was born) been mature and wise for her age. One of those children that you sometimes have to say "now who is the parent here?". Anyway they were a little shocked at her age so we really thought they would change their minds. But they didn't and she will be heading to Puerto Rico soon.

Hannah is mommy number two and she can run the whole household very efficiently. So we will have a lot of adjusting to do. But you know, that is not what I am going to miss. I am going to miss our long conversations. I am going to miss having someone to bounce things off of when I know everyone else will think I am crazy. I am going to miss sharing bible thoughts and talking about deep spiritual matters. I am going to miss her flopping down on our bed at night and talking about the day. I am really going to miss her.

I am just so thankful God gave me Hannah and all our children. They are all such a blessing in their own ways. I know we will all miss her. She is a rock in our household. I know she will be a rock for the mission in Puerto Rico too.

There is a worship song that says...

If You say go, we will go
If you say wait, we will wait
If You say step out on the water
And they say it can't be done
We'll fix out eyes on You and we will come

Your ways are higher than our ways
And plans that You have laid
Are good and true
If You call us to the fire
You will not withdraw Your hand
We'll gaze into the flames and look for You

God has asked us to step out on the water many times over the years. Sometimes it was with huge hesitancy to even get out of the boat. Other times we jumped out of the boat freely then when the storm came up we went scambling to get back. But from experience, you can't go back. Once you are out of that boat it is lean on Him or sink. I really need to remember this.

We prayed for God's leading and His will in the decision for Hannah to go to Puerto Rico and He has spoken. It was an answer to prayer for her and what direction she should go in her life. It is a huge step but I know God will see her through and be with her every step of the way. She is in good hands.

A mom stepping out of another boat,
Lori

Happy Birthday Elijah!

Happy Birthday Elijah! Mommy miss's you. We all miss you! You are still so ever present in our hearts and minds. I know you always will be.

Today I wonder what you would have been doing if you were still with us. What you would have looked like. Would your hair have grown? Maybe you would have needed a hair cut on your first birthday. Would you be crawling? Trying to walk? Saying mommy or daddy? What would today be like if you were still here?

We are all doing pretty well. Life is a struggle sometimes but you know all about that. You had a lot of struggle in your short life. I remember how bravely and patiently you took it all. I remember your smile through a lot of pain and trial. People had to poke and prod you a lot and even though you didn't like it you seemed to always love them anyway.

You know, we learned a lot from you my little baby. Seems funny that adults learn from one so small, but we did. I hope I never forget those lessons learned.
Yes, I do forget and yes, I do fail a lot but I will always remember you and with that I will keep trying to be like you.

I wish everyone could have known you. I think this world would be a better place if they did. You were a little reflection of God and that is something many people don't see very often. If they would, maybe life wouldn't be so hard for so many people. I did see and I know if I just keep my eyes focused on the things you saw my life would be a lot easier.

So, as you play on those heavenly streets send a little prayer down for your family and all those who touched your life. Pray they can reflect God just like you did so more people can have that glimse of eternity.

I miss you but I am so glad you are free!

Forever your mommy