Christmas, a different perspective

I have been feeling a looming disgruntleness this Christmas season. I see the craziness beginning and I just want to run away. Last years Christmas has changed me forever. I sat at Children's hospital, the only worldly possessions were a toothbrush a change of clothes and my bible. As I sat at the bedside of my very sick son the world outside seemed a distant throng that I was not a part of. I was humbled. I was at the end of myself. I could do nothing but pray, hope and have faith in God.
Here is an excerpt from my journal.

12-19-06
" Time stands still here in the hospital. It only moves forward when progress is made in Elijah's health. Right now we have taken too many steps backwards and we are in a holding pattern. Christmas is right around the corner. I thought I would long for all the festivities of Christmas, but I don't. I only want my son healed.
I stepped out of this time warp yesterday to take the older children shopping. Walmart is usually not a pleasant experience for me and this time it was worse. Drones of people with misguided priorities in life. Piles of meaningless stuff. Here at the hospital that mentality seems so far away. The mood is solemn. I see tired faces, red eyes and many tears. I also see hope. It is said here that if you start feeling sorry for yourself you with encounter someone who has it worse."

12-25-06
Elijah has taken a downhill turn in the past several days. It has been another hard road. I sometimes wonder if God hears our prayers. But then I remind myself He promises he does and He says keep asking. How many times have I asked Him to heal Elijah? Not by my will Father but by YOUR will. Do I really trust and have faith in God to say that with all confidence? Sometimes I do. When I lean on Him, when I keep my eyes on Him, when I lay on my face and surrender to Him. What do you want from me Lord?! How can I give up my own desires to serve you wholly? I want my baby, but I know that you could have other plans. I will surrender to Your plans. I will walk the path You want me to walk. I need Your strength, Your grace and Your guidance. In the quietness of this ICU room, int he peacefulness of the Christmas night I surrender ALL I am to Your plan. Not by my own strength but by faith that Your will is perfect and beautiful. Thank you Lord for friends and family that made this day so special. I don't think I will ever feel the same about Christmas. You were here today in the fellowship. Thank you!"

Jesus humbled Himself to come to earth as a human. Not a king but a humble servant. Mary and Joseph humbled themselves to the point of ridicule and rejection to accept such a momentous task.

Christmas is not what we have made it. In fact it is the opposite.

Humble yourself this Christmas. See the simple blessings. Then you will see Jesus. That is what it is all about.

Lori