God Knows

Today we had the meeting with all the docs, the social worker and three nurses. One of the first things the surgeon said is "we just don't know". All the tests and all the numbers and pressures and everything say Elijah should be getting better. They do not know why he is not. Surgery may or may not help him get better. The only surgery they would do would be a temporary fix and would not have any long term solutions. The concensus was not to do surgery but to wait and see if he might pull out of whatever is going on with him. The chances are not huge but it can happen.
Even though it may not sound like great news we all left feeling good about the meeting and on the same page with Elijah's care. We also talked to Elijah's cardiologist about how far we wanted to go with interventions like CPR and what we can do if it ever comes down to feeling we need to let go.
It is very hard for me to articulate all this. I did not expect anthing new but I feel at peace with the discussion and our plan for now even though it is more waiting.
God tells us over and over to wait on Him. I really don't like to wait. I get impatient in the grochery line and when the car in front of me is going way to slow. when God says wait He does not mean the waiting in line kind of waiting. It is a long term sort of wait, a waiting with expectation and hope. By now I am learning a great deal about this kind of waiting. I have lost count of the days Elijah has been in the hospital. It really does not matter at this point. I am trying to only look forward.
Elijah is doing better today. He is less swollen and has had a quiet day without drama. That is until they took him for a CT scan. Why? Well the infection control team says the infection he has can be linked to brain absess'. Our nurse today is from New Zealand and she says OIA, only in America. I guess in her mind it is not necessary. So down the hall they went with Elijah's bed, ventilator with O2 and Nitric O, IV's, and chest tubes. It only took four of them to get it all to the CT room. The doctors in the CICU were shaking their heads too. Oh well, OIA and feeling blessed.